By Zori Paul, PhD, LPC (she/her)
We already know that bisexuality is often misunderstood as “uncertainty,” “indecision,”,
or as a temporary stop on the way to something “more real.” But I never saw it that way. For me
and for many others, bisexuality is not a limitation but a very liberating identity. For myself, the
bi+ label offers language for complexity. It opens space in both heterosexual and LGBTQ+
spaces to question rigid binaries regarding community, love, attraction, identity, sense of self,
and so much more. And being bi+ can also affirm that these things can move, grow, and change
without betrayal or failure to self.
During Bisexual+ Health Awareness Month, I believe that the theme “Claiming the Right
to Care as Bi+ People” is an invitation for us to reflect not only on access to healthcare, but on
the deeper cultural conditions that shape whether our identities as bi+ folks are trusted. One of
these conditions is society’s discomfort with fluidity. At its core, bisexuality doesn’t ask, “Which
side are you on?” but “What is true for you, right now?” In a culture that equates stability with
legitimacy, that question can feel threatening but it can also be so freeing.
In February of this year, the Grammy-nominated rapper Doechii put “lesbian” on her
Instagram bio after previously identifying as bisexual. At first, admittedly, I worried about how
people who look up to celebrities like Doechii would view this as her bisexuality, and therefore
the bisexuality of so many others as just a phase. However, it was others in the bi+ community
like Charmeé (@bi_astrology on Instagram) that helped to remind me how empowering and
beautiful bisexuality is for so many. That it, unburdened by stigma, allows room for folks to just
be without the constraints of monosexism. Bisexuality is not something that is required to be set
in stone. Therefore, for whatever label Doechii or anyone else chooses to use, it hopefully brings
them joy in their queerness, and it does not invalidate the point of time where bisexuality felt like
the most fitting label.
Again, the bi+ identity provides a language that allows space for deeper self-
understanding to be possible. Growth is not failure, change is not dishonesty, and clarity –
whether that leads someone to keep or change their bisexual+ label – does not require disowning
the paths and journey that led there. I think it’s important that we view bisexuality as people
honoring their past selves without being trapped by them. It says, “You were telling the truth
then. You are telling the truth now.”
Going back to this month’s theme, what does this have to do with bi+ health and care?
Society’s suspicion of fluidity has real consequences. Bi+ folks are less likely to be believed and
taken seriously by healthcare providers. As a counselor, I have seen the internal struggle that
some of my clients go through as they weigh the risks of disclosure. I see them wondering if it is
worth having their identities potentially minimized or discredited yet again by another healthcare
professional. (Thankfully, I am quickly able to ease their worries.) Claiming the right to care as
bi+ people, as well as folks who found growth and authenticity in the bi+ label even if it no
longer fits, means rejecting the idea that only fixed identities deserve competent, affirming care.
It calls on systems of care to hold complexity without demanding conformity. Claiming the right to care as bi+ people and our co-conspirators means affirming that bisexual+ folks deserve care
even if our identity evolves. It means affirming that we care for one another and our community
without having to lock ourselves to one facet of ourselves for forever. It means that we a bi+ folk
deserve care that honors exploration, not just arrival.
So, let bisexuality and bi+ people be. We’re not a problem to be solved or a phase to
grow out of, and bisexuality is not invalidated when someone’s identity shifts. It is a generous,
expansive identity that has always made room for fluidity in a world obsessed with binaries. And
that space, that space to be honest, to evolve, to examine assumptions, to trust yourself with your
most authentic self…that’s care.