A Bi+ Guide to Navigating Healthcare
March is Bisexual Health Awareness Month, a time dedicated to shedding light on the unique health disparities faced by bisexual+ (bisexual, pansexual, queer, fluid, and otherwise non-monosexual) people. Started by the Bisexual Resource Center in 2014, this month-long campaign highlights the barriers bi+ people experience in accessing competent, affirming health care and advocates for better research, policy, and support.
For many bi+ people, the doctor’s office can be just as anxiety-inducing as a first date with someone who says, “I don’t believe in labels.”
Bi+ individuals face unique challenges when seeking medical care, from outright discrimination to subtle microaggressions that make it clear our health needs aren’t taken seriously. Studies show that bi+ people experience higher rates of mental health issues, chronic illnesses, and substance use. Despite this, we are less likely to be out to our doctors, and we often receive worse care than our gay, lesbian, and straight counterparts.
So, how do you navigate a healthcare system that wasn’t built with you in mind? This guide will help you find a bi-affirming provider, advocate for yourself in a medical setting, and handle discrimination if it comes your way.
Finding a Bi-Affirming Provider
A good doctor should be like a good therapist: supportive, knowledgeable, and unlikely to ask invasive questions about your sex life that aren’t medically relevant. But finding an affirming provider isn’t always easy. Here’s how to improve your chances:
1. Search for LGBTQIA+-Friendly Directories
Many organizations maintain lists of queer-affirming providers, including:
- The GLMA Provider Directory (Gay & Lesbian Medical Association — thanks for the systemic bi+ erasure, babes)
- The OutCare Health Directory
- Plume (for trans-affirming care but often LGBTQIA+-friendly in general, plus so many of us Bs are Ts!)
Local LGBTQIA+ centers often have their own lists of trusted providers, so it’s worth reaching out to your nearest group.
2. Look for Inclusive Language on Their Website
A quick website check can reveal a lot. Red flags include only mentioning “gay and lesbian” patients while ignoring bisexuality entirely. On the flip side, an explicitly LGBTQIA+-inclusive practice that uses the term “bi+” or “pansexual” is likely to be more affirming.
3. Read Reviews (But Take Them with a Grain of Salt)
Reviews on Google, Zocdoc, or Healthgrades can sometimes indicate whether a provider is queer-affirming, but remember that what one person finds acceptable may not be enough for you. If a provider gets a glowing review but still refers to bisexuality as “half-gay, half-straight,” that might be a dealbreaker. It would be for us!
4. Call and Ask Questions Before Booking
If possible, call the office before your appointment and ask:
- “Does this provider have experience working with LGBTQIA+ patients?”
- “Does your intake paperwork allow for a range of sexual orientations and gender identities?”
- “Do you have a nondiscrimination policy that explicitly protects LGBTQIA+ patients?”
A receptionist’s response can give you a sense of how the practice operates. One of the most affirming experiences in a doctor’s office I’ve ever had is when an intake form asked for my sexual orientation identity, and bisexual was an option. It doesn’t take much to be affirming.
Advocating for Yourself in a Medical Setting
Even if you find a seemingly affirming provider, you might still have to advocate for yourself. Here’s how to make sure your concerns are heard and respected.
1. Be Direct About Your Identity (If You Feel Safe Doing So)
If you’re comfortable, being upfront about your sexuality can prevent assumptions. For example, if a doctor asks whether you’re sexually active and follows up with, “Is it with men or women?” you can clarify: “I’m bisexual, so my partners may be of different genders.”
This statement not only educates the provider but also signals that you expect them to treat your identity with respect.
2. Ask for Clarification If Something Feels Off
If a doctor makes an assumption or dismisses a concern, ask for clarification. Example:
Doctor: “Well, since you’re married, I don’t think we need to discuss STIs.”
You: “Actually, I’d like to talk about that. Bisexual people are at higher risk for certain STIs due to healthcare disparities, and I want to make sure I’m getting the right screenings.”
Sometimes, putting the conversation in medical terms helps doctors take it more seriously.
3. Bring Notes or a Support Person
If you’re worried about being dismissed or overwhelmed, write down your concerns beforehand or bring a trusted friend or partner to advocate alongside you. Studies suggest that having a third party in the room can improve health outcomes for patients because doctors are more likely to “behave” when they are being observed. Don’t blame us for being the bearer of bad news on that one; blame the healthcare system!
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Push Back
If a provider is dismissive, challenge them. Say:
- “I’d like you to document that you’re refusing to address this concern.”
- “Can you explain why you’re recommending this course of action despite the research that suggests otherwise?”
- “I’d like a second opinion.”
Many providers change their tune when they realize a patient is informed and unwilling to be ignored.
What to Do If You Experience Discrimination
Despite your best efforts, you may encounter outright discrimination or microaggressions. Here’s how to handle it.
1. Document Everything
If you experience discrimination, whether it’s outright refusal of care, inappropriate comments, or medical neglect, write down exactly what happened, including dates, times, and direct quotes. If you’re feeling bold, ask to audio record the appointment so you can go back and listen to the conversation later. This is also a good tactic for folks with memory or auditory processing issues. Always ask before recording!
2. File a Complaint
Depending on the situation, you can:
- File a complaint with the clinic or hospital administration.
- Report the provider to the state medical board.
- Contact the Department of Health and Human Services’ Office for Civil Rights if you experience discrimination at a federally funded facility.
3. Seek Legal Advice if Necessary
If the discrimination was severe or impacted your health, you may have legal recourse. Organizations like Lambda Legal offer resources and assistance.
4. Find a New Provider
If possible, find a new doctor who will respect and affirm your identity. While it’s infuriating to have to switch, prioritizing your health and well-being is more important than sticking with a provider who refuses to see you fully.
Final Thoughts: You Deserve Quality Health Care
Navigating the medical system as a bi+ person can be frustrating, exhausting, and sometimes disheartening. But you deserve health care that is competent, affirming, and free from discrimination. By knowing your rights, standing up for yourself, and seeking out affirming providers, you can take control of your healthcare experience.
And if you ever need support, remember: you’re not alone. Bi+ people have always had to carve out space for ourselves in systems that overlook us, but together, we can demand better.
Have you had experiences (positive or negative) navigating the health care system as a bi+ person? Share your story in the comments or contact the Bisexual Resource Center for support.
By Bailey Merlin